Today I let go of a dream.
I threw away a game that I bought many years ago. It is a really simple dominos game. Like many old board and card games I have possibly outgrown, I simply kept it. Let it collect dust in my cupboard and its components turn yellow.
Looking at the rotting thing and its other aging companions in my cupboard, I wondered last night why I ever kept them. I don’t think I was holding on to them. I was holding on to some dreams, hopes and wishes they represented.
I was holding to the dream that my mom and I could have a fun and playful relationship well into my 20s. I was holding onto the hope that one day my brother would play opposite me, battling out typical sibling rivalry through board games.
It took years to realize some dreams aren’t meant to come true. And then I carried those pieces of shattered dreams for years, like a noose around my neck that could tighten at any point and kill me. But now I have let it go.
Let go of those hopes, wishes and broken dreams. Sometimes they are not aspirational, they are burdensome slow killers. Don’t be afraid of the void left behind them because with time, they will be replaced with new dreams. Life was made to disappoint us at times but humans were made to triumph over those times. And so, we will never stop fighting. And we will never stop dreaming.
My brother’s autism might stop him from playing games with me but I don’t need any game to love him and I know he loves me back. And that is the most perfect relationship I can ever ask for. Life’s trying moments turn the relationship between my mom and I into a storm but storms always pass and as inevitable as the sunrise, my mom and I make up almost unwillingly since we have no choice but to love each other.
So, don’t be afraid to let go of dreams that don’t come true because they will eventually be replaced by ones that do.