The Perfect Comeback to Jerks

To all my fellow ladies out there, have you ever dealt with a douchebag? A tool? A perfect MCP? I am not sure what that one means but my Mum told me it was one of her first impressions of my Dad so I can easily assume it’s not nice. Don’t worry, they are still happily married, they just happily argue some times.

But I think I have the perfect comeback to those jerks and I think it’s really simple. 

Just ask them if they have a girlfriend or partner. This is not your comeback but your response to their reply will be.

1. If they reply with a yes, exaggeratedly act appalled and exclaim, “Oh no! I feel so sorry for her/him!”. If you are single and they choose to say that at least they have a relationship, feel free to say something childish like so what or accuse them of blackmailing or coercing their respective partner into a relationship.

2. Now if they say no, this is much easier. Just state blandly that you are not at all surprised. Childish response? Yes. Effective responsive? Hell yes!

Now you might think this solution could apply to men who want to respond to rude women. And my suggestion is… OH HELL NO! Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. If you encounter a raging woman in the wild, keep eye contact and slowly back away without saying a word. 3 times out of 5 you will survive. Other times you will be caught and verbally assaulted on behalf of another member of your kind who wronged her.

Of course, a better solution to all this is just be nice to one another.

—–

P.S. Checked in with my Mum, MCP means Male Chauvinistic Pig, you’re welcome.

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